


There Is a Field

by Vex (lokisolo)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abstract, Angst, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Grieving, Heroine's Journey, Redemption, Reylo - Freeform, Soulmates, Star-crossed, World Between Worlds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-24 20:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokisolo/pseuds/Vex
Summary: 'Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.' -Rumi
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. Exegol

"No!" Rey reached instinctively forward with her hand, but it simply fell through empty air as Ben's form disappeared into nothingness.

"Ben, no! Come back!"

She fell onto her hands and knees, her eyes burning with the sting of tears as she stared down at the clothing that had been left behind. She sifted through the clothes with rapidly dissipating hope.

"Come back to me...."

_Please, no._ She slowly gave up the search as the realization that he was gone finally sank into her unwilling consciousness. Lifting the black shirt from the cold gray stone beneath, she held it close as she began to cry quietly.

It wasn't the same as when Luke Skywalker had become one with the Force after the battle on Crait. She didn't feel that sense of peace and purpose when Ben Solo vanished. It felt all wrong somehow.

He had given his life Force to restore her vitality, she knew. For a lingering moment, all had been right with the galaxy. She had kissed the man who had returned to the Light for her. Then he had been shorn away.

Rey was no stranger to losing loved ones, to grief. The pervading sadness that seeps into the heart like a dark viscous poison. Even the passing of many years could not fully heal that wound; it festers and reopens at the slightest memory.

_"You're not alone."_

_"Neither are you. It's not too late."_

Still holding the clothes, she slowly rose from the ground and looked around, desperate to not be alone at a time like this. But she was alone. Fury enveloped her then, tinged with pain.

"I will find you," she vowed. "If I must cross time and space, if I must journey to worlds no others have survived. I will find you, Ben."


	2. Tatooine

Rey gazed numbly at the setting suns of Tatooine as she strode out into the desert, scarcely noticing the little droid that had rolled to her side. He attempted a gentle chirp of inquiry, but no response came from the young woman that he had been assigned to provide company. It seemed counter-intuitive that his mission should be to follow someone who appeared to prefer solitude right now, but his master's instructions had been explicit.

The Force bond that she had shared with Ben Solo now ached as a wound, an emptiness that she longed to fill somehow. The pain confirmed her fear that the son of Han and Leia --- the other half of her own soul --- had truly died on Exegol, for that was one of the few ways to sever a bond. It was an otherwise permanent joining of two, and without Ben at her side, nothing seemed to matter. Allies old and new had come together to defeat the enemy, but to Rey, it was a hollow victory.

Nearby, a black-feathered carrion bird flitted down from the darkening skies to pick at the white bones of some pitiable thing that had succumbed to the desert heat. The bird had a rather ugly bald face, but it possessed a strong beak suited for the cracking and splintering of old bones. Rey observed as a second bird joined the first, dull brown in color but clearly the same species; they greeted one another with a quick but affectionate nuzzle.

_Birds mate for life,_ she thought distantly. 

Numbness gave way suddenly to rage. She took out her newly forged lightsaber and ignited it, the yellow beam issuing forth with a steady hum of energy. She charged forward at a small withered tree; the droid began to follow but stopped when she began ripping into the dead wood with a savagery that startled the two scavenger birds into flight. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she swung her blade at some imagined foe, her moves made graceless by the helpless desperation of grief.

BB-8 kept at a short distance as the young Jedi tired herself from a series of unsustainable brutal sweeps with her weapon, carving glowing scars deep into the tree trunk. He didn't try to approach again until she finally switched off the lightsaber and fell to her knees on the sand. Her slender frame shuddered as she gasped for breath between sobs. He rolled to her side but said nothing for now, merely being there as a friend on this desolate world where she had no one else.

"You can't help me," she said eventually to the droid without looking at him. "I'll take you home. You... shouldn't have seen that." There was no anger or strength left in her voice, although a strange determination seemed to smolder in it. She didn't bother to wipe away the tears from her cheeks, letting them dry on their own. The suns were now slipping below the horizon, the blue of the sky deepening into red as day faded slowly into night. 

Rey returned to the Falcon as twinkling stars began dotting the night sky, the astromech droid shadowing her steps dutifully even after being told that he could not possibly help with whatever it was she needed to do. It was still his personal mission to try to be a faithful companion to his friend, even if he did not have the capability to solve her troubles as a human. She paid no heed to him, however, as she retrieved one of the Jedi texts from a storage compartment and settled down in her bunk with it.

Turning the pages of ancient paper with almost reverent care, she tried to decipher what she could of the strange lettering, often resorting to studying the equally baffling charts and diagrams. One that kept drawing her attention was an image of circles interconnected with straight yet angular lines. It was such a simple chart yet entire pages of text seemed devoted to explaining its meaning. She was absently tracing the lines with her fingers when a thin, restless sleep finally took her.

_Snow was falling in a dark forest. An icy wind swept through the trees, making Rey shiver as she wandered lost in a wood that appeared to have no end._

_"Rey?" a voice seemed to call from faraway._

_"I'm right here," she answered with a sudden desperate wish to find whoever it was. She ran toward the voice but could find no one else around._

_The forest was endless, she realized with horror; it was not an illusion that the trees went on forever. But then she noticed what looked to be a path._

_She raced along the trail, which ran straight but with an occasional sharp turn. Snow flew thickly into her face, obscuring her vision more and more._

_"I'll come back for you, sweetheart," the voice said, sounding no closer than before._

_"Where are you? I'll find you," she cried out against the chilling winds._

_There was something in front of her on the path, as white as the snow that now covered her hair and shoulders. She stopped and stared._

_It was a very large wolf, she realized; its head reached the height of her shoulder. She sensed no reason to fear this creature as it gazed back calmly._

_Rey began to reach out a hand toward the white wolf, but it shied from her touch. She withdrew her hand, and the animal looked curiously at her._

_Turning away, it strode into the shadow of the trees. She felt a strong impulse to follow, but then heard an undeniably familiar voice call, "Rey!"_

"Ben!" she cried out, sitting up suddenly in her bunk, her skin covered in a sheen of cold sweat. It was the middle of the night. BB-8, who had shifted into low-power mode hours before, whirred and beeped in alarm at his friend's distress. 

In her confusion upon waking, Rey momentarily forgot that Ben Solo had died and that she was currently leading an existence without him. Then the memories came flooding back, along with a wave of fresh grief, surging over and through the dam she had tried to construct against it. She managed to compose herself after a few moments, and her eyes strayed to the open Jedi text beside her on the bunk bed. It had been left on the page with the odd chart of circles connected together by intersecting lines.

"I'm all right," she said vaguely to the droid that kept chirping his concern at her. He gave a beep of skepticism, and she cast him an appraising glance. He was her only friend on this empty, barren world. It had crossed her mind more than once to simply return to the Resistance, but she could never quite rid herself of the feeling that she didn't belong there. Nor could she shake the suspicion that, despite the battle being won, the war was far from over.

The fight to save Ben Solo had only just begun.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Puzzle Prompts community on Livejournal.


End file.
